The Power Unresolved Trauma Holds

Healing Without Hurting Others

Why does she always speak so rudely to me? Why is he always abusive towards me? Why is my mother so overprotective of me? Have such questions struck your mind too? Sometimes others’ vague behavior towards us has no explanation. But there might be a possibility that it’s a trauma response. It’s the unresolved trauma of the person that drives such unhealthy behavioral patterns. Now this unhealed trauma has the power to drag people around that person too.

Suffering from trauma and its repercussions at a moment is a different thing but being stuck in the shackles of trauma for the entire life is a different story. Just like the unhealed physical injuries make you more irritable, annoyed, and anxious, the unhealed emotional wounds make you someone you aren’t. And this makes not only you but your relationships suffer too. 

Where does this Trauma Stem From?

Trauma can result from anything like childhood abuse, loss of a loved one, childhood neglect, abandonment, bullying victimization, toxic relationships, etc. Anything that has an immense impact on you emotionally, can become a source of your trauma. 

This past trauma shapes our personality in such a way that we see everything through these traumatic lenses. We start believing that people are out there to harm us, that no one cares, that everyone’s the same. Now when this trauma is left unhealed, you either let your guard up towards others or retaliate; you either behave in a manner you think you once deserved or you happen to continue the cycle.

The Healing that Breaks

We all are eventually broken souls trying to heal by breaking others. But that's not how healing works, right? Your bullied self can't be healed by mistreating others. Your unloved self can't be healed by hating others. Your neglected self can't be healed by making someone feel excluded. Your wounded self can't be healed by inflicting pain on someone.

It's unfortunate that you weren’t treated the way you deserved in the past but that doesn't mean someone else deserves the same treatment as a result of your wounds.       

No one deserves to be the container of someone else's pain. You may or may not be aware of how your trauma dictates your conduct, and how the path you took towards healing might be wounding the people you come across in the path. It only creates an unending chain of pain.

We can't fix ourselves by the broken pieces of others. Choose a healthy path to healing. Be mindful of your actions and be kind to yourself and others.

Related Post: Developing the Art of Kindness

What is Healing?

Healing means that you're letting go of your wounds and pain, embracing the scars, and holding onto the lessons from those memories. Healing not just means getting rid of the wounds but also filling the gaps those wounds have given rise to on emotional levels. 

Healing is a process with many peaks and valleys. It can include a willingness to change, self-acceptance, patience, compassion towards self and others, and being mindful of the process. 

The effect of unresolved trauma can be detrimental. You deserve to heal but in the right way! Acknowledging the unhealed trauma is the first step. It is essential to identify the psychological markers and the triggering factors. Understanding the realm of trauma and how it's impacting the person's life and relationships can be a good start in the journey of healing. 

Using mindfulness techniques can help the person to become more conscious of the scenario they are in and identify the severity of trauma. Practicing self-care, prioritizing your mental health, surrounding yourself with the people who uplift you, and some relaxation exercises can do wonders! And remember, seeking professional help in need is never a sign of weakness. So, move past the stigma because it’s the doorway to your peace and well-being.

So, what do you think? Are you on the right path to healing?